1) Losing a parent can be the hardest thing to deal with when you deal with too much
2) Raising kids is still a challenge.
3) iPhones are awesome.
4) People, for the most part, still suck.
5) Getting older also sucks.
6) Precious is one of the best movies ever.
1) A little over a month after my last post my father passed away at the young age of 59. I can't say it was entirely unexpected, as his health had been deteriorating for years, but it was a shock nonetheless. I'm not entirely sure it has entirely sunk in yet, but one never knows these things. Over the few days and weeks after his death I learned one huge lesson which I had neglected to pay attention too for years: I have a huge, wonderful support network of people who care more about me than I ever knew. Many people whom I haven't spoken too in months and years reached out to me with their condolences and to say they were thinking about me. Co-workers sent emails and messages sharing their stories of loss and living with it. My best friends let me talk and talk and talk or just hugged me as I cried in disbelief and sorrow. The ones who showed up at the wake I am especially grateful for, because they saw me at my most vulnerable and helped me smile in the saddest of times. Thank you friends, you know who you are.
As I was dealing with my grief, one of my dearest friends, who had his own loss not long before mine, told me something I will never forget. We live in a fix-it society, but we can't fix death. I really can't go into more detail than that because that statement is meant to sit differently with everyone, at least in my opinion. No one grieves the same, and it's not something we can share intimately, just understandably. That may be a bit confusing to understand, but think on it.
2) This kind of ties into above, but I shall branch out more with this one. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do besides planning a funeral was to tell others about it. Making those calls are never easy, but harder still is telling children. When I came home that night to let them know that Paw Paw was gone, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest and I would never see without blurs again. Being strong for adults is one thing, but it's heart-wrenching when you have to be strong for your own children. Trying to stifle my own tears so they can shed theirs is more work than your nerves should be able to handle. But we do it. We do it with honor. We reassure then everything will be OK, never really knowing if it will or not. Then we put them to bed and cry our eyes out because we had to break their hearts. Parenting is never easy, especially when they aren't yours to begin with. But when they become yours, the hard work and elevated stress levels are the best thing to happen to you.
3) I love my iPhone. Unlike most things that the masses rave about (Twilight Saga, diets, shoes etc) this lived up to the hype. Not that it is 100% effective in everything, it does make life a little easier. At last count I have downloaded and tried over 100 apps, deleting most and keeping the best. I now have a flashlight, a level, an iPod, the periodic table, a light saber and bubble wrap ready to go with me wherever I go. I can easily check email, twitter, facebook, IMDB, and news anywhere I go. It is the best phone I have ever had, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
4) People still suck. I now have more road rage than I need and less tolerance for people not in vehicles. Don't be stupid, it's unbecoming.
5) This past July I turned 30. It's a milestone year. The gray is bolder, the back is sorer and the senior discounts are getting close. Fortunately, most of my friends are right there with me, or will be soon. As for you young folks, sit down and shut up. I can barely hear the TV as it is.
6) As many of you know, I'm a fairly big movie buff. I have more movie knowledge that will get me nowhere in life than I know what to do with. With that being said, Precious is the best movie ever made. It made me tear up. Movies don't make me tear up. They make me laugh. OK, i teared up at Braveheart, but that was long ago.
What this young girl goes through will make anyone cry. Not only was it heartbreaking, but it also believable. Monique, who I always get a chuckle out of watching, made me hate her so much for her part in the horrible treatment of this girl. Oscar well earned. If it doesn't move you in some way, you are inhuman.
Well, it's 4 a.m. and I fear I'm getting incoherent. With proper poking and prodding I will update regularly, if it is your desire.
Love you all,
Jeremy
As I was dealing with my grief, one of my dearest friends, who had his own loss not long before mine, told me something I will never forget. We live in a fix-it society, but we can't fix death. I really can't go into more detail than that because that statement is meant to sit differently with everyone, at least in my opinion. No one grieves the same, and it's not something we can share intimately, just understandably. That may be a bit confusing to understand, but think on it.
2) This kind of ties into above, but I shall branch out more with this one. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do besides planning a funeral was to tell others about it. Making those calls are never easy, but harder still is telling children. When I came home that night to let them know that Paw Paw was gone, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest and I would never see without blurs again. Being strong for adults is one thing, but it's heart-wrenching when you have to be strong for your own children. Trying to stifle my own tears so they can shed theirs is more work than your nerves should be able to handle. But we do it. We do it with honor. We reassure then everything will be OK, never really knowing if it will or not. Then we put them to bed and cry our eyes out because we had to break their hearts. Parenting is never easy, especially when they aren't yours to begin with. But when they become yours, the hard work and elevated stress levels are the best thing to happen to you.
3) I love my iPhone. Unlike most things that the masses rave about (Twilight Saga, diets, shoes etc) this lived up to the hype. Not that it is 100% effective in everything, it does make life a little easier. At last count I have downloaded and tried over 100 apps, deleting most and keeping the best. I now have a flashlight, a level, an iPod, the periodic table, a light saber and bubble wrap ready to go with me wherever I go. I can easily check email, twitter, facebook, IMDB, and news anywhere I go. It is the best phone I have ever had, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
4) People still suck. I now have more road rage than I need and less tolerance for people not in vehicles. Don't be stupid, it's unbecoming.
5) This past July I turned 30. It's a milestone year. The gray is bolder, the back is sorer and the senior discounts are getting close. Fortunately, most of my friends are right there with me, or will be soon. As for you young folks, sit down and shut up. I can barely hear the TV as it is.
6) As many of you know, I'm a fairly big movie buff. I have more movie knowledge that will get me nowhere in life than I know what to do with. With that being said, Precious is the best movie ever made. It made me tear up. Movies don't make me tear up. They make me laugh. OK, i teared up at Braveheart, but that was long ago.
What this young girl goes through will make anyone cry. Not only was it heartbreaking, but it also believable. Monique, who I always get a chuckle out of watching, made me hate her so much for her part in the horrible treatment of this girl. Oscar well earned. If it doesn't move you in some way, you are inhuman.
Well, it's 4 a.m. and I fear I'm getting incoherent. With proper poking and prodding I will update regularly, if it is your desire.
Love you all,
Jeremy
1 comment:
Poke, poke. Yes, you should update more. You have a real gift for writing. I think you could write about brushing your teeth and make it interesting enough to read. Nurture that gift.
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